This weekend I was invited to deliver the commencement address at my alma mater, the University of Wisconsin – Eau Claire. I graduated from there 35 years ago with a degree in journalism.
There were two ceremonies with a total of 1,581 graduates and about 8,500 guests. It’s a charge to the class, but a message that I hope reaches even farther. So, I’m sharing a video of the speech here, from UW-Eau Claire’s Facebook feed. (My part starts at 1:05:00 in the video.) You’ll find the text of the speech below.
To the graduates:
Today is a big day. Congratulations! 35 years ago I was in your shoes, right here at UWEC and today I want to offer you some good news. Of course, I’m afraid there’s some bad news—BUT—then there’s more good news.
Let’s go in that order…
The good news is that your journey brought you to UWEC where you set out to earn a degree. And you did it. However difficult it was, no matter the obstacles you encountered along the way, the fact that you are sitting here today means that you have met all of the requirements and now you’re graduating. Along the way I bet—I hope—you made some new friends and some great memories that will last you a lifetime. That’s good news. It’s great news, in fact. And we’re here to celebrate that with you.
Are you ready for the bad news? Life is hard. There are going to be rough patches up ahead. In the years and decades to come, you’re going to encounter loss and hardship. You’re going to be disappointed. There will be bills and pressures and deadlines. For some of you—statistically—there might be addiction, a difficult diagnosis, or mental health challenges. At times, things might even feel hopeless. That’s hard news. And it’s absolutely true.
But here’s what I want to tell you today. This is the other good news that I hope you will hold on to. Whatever those challenges might be, that’s not the end of the story. Every day when you wake up, you get to make a choice about how you’re going to respond to the world around you. Every day, there is a chance to start again. You are graduating today, because you have proven that you can do hard things. And when more hard things present themselves, I want you to remember this achievement as a lesson and a marker. And an example of what you are capable of, so that you can—and you will—find the courage to do the next hard thing.
I’ve had the good luck to travel the country and the world gathering stories of hope and healing for the storytelling project I founded called A Peace of My Mind. In a divided world, we use storytelling and art to rediscover what connects us. And I get to carry the stories of folks who are finding creative solutions to some of our most challenging issues. People who have found themselves in difficult situations and realized… or decided…that wasn’t the end of the story.
I met people like Angela Bates who grew up in Nicodemus, Kansas, a town that was settled by freed slaves after the Civil War. She was proud of that heritage. The whole town was, and they worked with the National Park Service to commemorate that history and after 20 years the park service built this beautiful interpretive center to honor this community that was settled by freed slaves. And they staffed it with all white folks. Angela talked about how frustrating that was but then she realized that she had a choice…about how she was going to respond to the world around her. And the town got together and they built their own history museum because as Angela said “We won’t ever know where it is we are going if we don’t first know where it is we’ve been.”
And I interviewed people like Michael Skoler who was a journalist based in Africa and covering the genocide in Rwanda in 1994. Michael talked about the ways that people turned on their friends and neighbors in horrific acts of violence and how that lead Michael to work with an organization stateside called Weave, that tries to rebuild the social trust in our own country that has frayed so badly. They work to build community connections and human relationships so that we can all thrive. And of course in this world, progress can be slow. Michael said that he doesn’t get frustrated when things take a long time. He is focused on the way he moves through the world and the things he can control. He said, “I’m going to care. If the world gets better, wonderful. If it doesn’t get better, I’m still going to care.”
And I learned from people like Penina Bowman in Atlanta, Georgia who talked about growing up in World War Two Europe as a little girl. One day soldiers showed up at her door and they said “Pack your bags….you’ve got 10 minutes and then you’ve got to go.” They didn’t know where they were going but they got put on a train that was headed to Auschwitz. Both of Penina’s parents and 42 other members of her family died there. And Penina talked about how difficult that journey was, and how impossible it was to find peace in a place like that. But she also said that while she was there, she chose not to hate. Because, she said, “Hate is a powerful weapon and it’s intended to destroy someone else. But in fact it circles back and it destroys you instead.”
And I had the honor of sitting with people like Greg Campbell who I interviewed after he decided to stop receiving kidney dialysis and came home to get hospice care and prepare himself to die. Greg knew he would have a few good days before his body would start to shut down and he used that time to visit with friends and do an interview with me. And Greg said, “If you want to have friends, you have to open up. And that can be very scary because you can get hurt. But I have friends I’ve known for 46 years and to this day they are still helping me. They’re shoveling my driveway. They’re asking, ‘What can I do?’ They do it because it’s right and they do it for everything I’ve done for them. When people talk about paying it forward in life by being kind and good and peaceful, you never know when the withdrawal comes. And the withdrawal is coming for me right now.”
And finally, I met people like Chief Shirell Parfait-Dardar of the Biloxi-Chitimacha-Choctaw tribe in the watery bayous of South Louisiana. She talked about how hard it was to live in that place that was regularly battered by hurricanes. They would rebuild again and again after getting knocked down again and again. In some places their land is literally washing away. And I asked her, “Why do you stay?” and Chief Shirell said, “It’s the love. I’ve never felt love like this before.” And that idea is reflected in the way she chooses to govern her people. She said, “I’m going to love the crap out of you. So that’s my call to those who are seeking leadership positions. If you can’t lead with love, get out of the way.”
You see, there is beauty and wisdom all around us if we choose to see it. Each one of you, you have strength and courage that you have only just begun to discover. The world is hard. The world is uncertain. And…you were made for this moment. Every day you get to choose if you will lean into division or if you will move toward healing. Every day you get to choose if you will take or if you will give. Every day, you get to choose if you will tear things down or if you will build things up. Every day you get the chance to help another human. Build a connection. Show compassion. Plant a seed of hope in someone who desperately needs it.
You get to choose.
Congratulations on your graduation. You made it. And, welcome to the next part of your story. We can’t wait to see what you choose to do with it.
Go Blugolds!
Thank you for sharing and for accepting the invitation.
Way to go John! I’m sure you touched lives.
My son graduated today at UWEC! Thank you for your words of hope and encouragement!