Over the weekend I attended a film screening in Michigan for a documentary project called Impossible Conversations. In some ways it was an introduction. In others, it was a reunion.

The film was created in partnership by London-based filmmaker Pratap Rughani and Michigan-based filmmaker David Chung. I’d met with Pratap by Zoom recently and explored some common themes in our work. This was a chance to meet him in person.

The two main subjects of the documentary are Arno Michaelis and Pardeep Kaleka. 

I’ve known Arno for years through the speaking circuit. We have presented in many of the same communities, though never at the same time. I’ve read his books and interviewed him for my podcast during the pandemic as we explored how life was changing around us.

And while I’ve known Pardeep’s name and his work for almost a decade, I finally met him for the first time a few months ago while doing some interfaith work in Milwaukee.

So this was a chance to say hi to all three of them, plus meet David Chung at the event that featured the film but also an exhibit and a weekend of panel discussions about the themes raised in the film. It was a chance to watch and learn how other people lead these sorts of conversations. 

Here is  the exhibit statement that frames it all.

“Impossible Conversations is an exhibition and film installation by artists and filmmakers, Pratāp Rughani and David Chung. The film centers a seemingly impossible dialogue between Arno Michaelis, a former Neo-Nazi gang founder and Pardeep Kaleka, son of the Sikh Temple President, Satwant Singh Kaleka, one of seven people killed in the shooting attack at the Oak Creek Sikh Temple (Gurudwara) by a white supremacist in Milwuakee in 2012.

The film installation explores what happens when Pardeep and Arno committed to a path of restorative communication — to listen deeply and connect with what motivates each other in the genesis and aftermath of atrocity — for over a decade.

How can one heal when challenged by polarization, division and extreme racist violence? In the wake of one of the worst mass shootings at a religious site in American history, Pardeep recognized that complete healing must eventually be a collective process for all, to liberate both sides.

At Stamps Gallery, the film installation is accompanied by photomurals (by Pratap Rughani) and a dialogue and research room where audiences are invited to consider what would it take for each one of us to sustain an impossible conversation.”

As we celebrate Dr. King’s legacy today, it’s important to recognize that there are difficult conversations in the world. There are improbable conversations. And there are impossible conversations. Yet what I saw in the film…what I see in my friends Arno and Pardeep…is that even the impossible conversations are possible. Are they hard? Yes. Impossible? No. They can happen over time. They can build on small steps. They can grow when both parties are able to come to the table, face their own discomfort, and be vulnerable with one another.

Arno continues to reckon with the history of his time in the white supremacist network. He understands the damage he has done and feels the responsibility to create some sort of healing in the world so he works to de-radicalize young people who feel drawn to extremist ideologies. As he sat on a panel, Arno shared his desire to stay engaged and his refusal to discard certain people. There is a danger, he said, that if we see a perpetrator as some sort of monster that we will forget our own complicity in the systems and societies that create people who do bad things.

People in the room shared how inspirational the film was, documenting this relationship between Arno and Pardeep that was forged in the midst of pain and tragedy. Pardeep encouraged the audience to leave the screening feeling more than just inspired. It’s great to feel good and walk out the door uplifted, but it is required that we then move toward action. “Don’t leave inspired,” he said. “Leave committed.”

And Pratap closed the weekend’s events with these words. “If you think this movie is about Arno and Pardeep, then we have failed. This film is about you. It’s about each one of us and how we can have these impossible conversations.”

Dr. King said, “We may have all come on different ships, but we’re in the same boat now.” Those words have never felt more true.

Where are the impossible conversations in your world? Maybe they are not impossible after all.